Share the Gospel
Joe Dallas equips listeners with the basic tools and concepts necessary for a Christ-like response to the Gay Christian identity. Joe brings us in for a transparent look at his journey from the downward spiral into sexual promiscuity to promoting the Gay Christian identity and finally to landing on the solid ground of his identity in Christ.
During Joe’s journey, The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches was one of the first organizations that claimed both a Christian base and a pro-gay base and where he heard the pro-gay interpretation of scripture for the first time. He was confronted with men and women of all ages and all types who identified as Gay Christians. If you haven’t already, you will meet someone who says “I love Jesus, I have been born again, I believe the Bible is the word of God and I’m openly gay or I’m openly lesbian and God is fine with my lifestyle”. Joe’s in-depth teaching will better equip you to dialogue with people holding this position.
Joe begins with these terms and concepts to help us better understand and follow along with his discussion:
Gay Christian Identify – Terms and Concepts
- Saved – born again and positioned in Christ
- Gay – orientation, identity or behavior
- “Gay is not as simplistic as a term as we might think it to be because it can refer either to an orientation or an identity or a behavior or a combination of all 3.”
- Orientation – result of the sin nature – not a choice
- Identity – alignment with a sinful tendency – is a choice
- Behavior – erotic connection with same sex – is a choice
Five Point Progression
- Discovery – deep feelings others don’t have
- Conflict – lasts for a season “I didn’t ask to be gay”
- Resolution Attempt – tried everything, “it” doesn’t work
- Revision – to accommodate the temptation
- Gay Christian Identity – adoption / embracing
Many people believe that if you are born again you will no longer have same sex attractions and desires. They often refer to the apostle Paul stating that “if any man is in Christ he is a new creation old things are passed away and all things become new” (2 Cor 5:17). While we do become new creations, the Bible also states that we will experience a struggle between the flesh and the spirit.
Joe puts it this way, “When someone tells me well I tried to pray the gay away and it didn’t happen. I would say who on Earth told you that was going to happen? All of us have sinful desires of the flesh sometimes we are completely relieved of those desires at other times we are allowed to still wrestle those desires. As time goes on they may diminish and other times they stay and at all times we are still told to crucify the flesh walk in the spirit and not live under the power of any particular sin.”
Joe’s teaching ends on a powerful note from Dr. Paul Morris who says, “but if I were a homosexual Christian this one question would bother me, am I interpreting scripture in the light of my proclivity or should I be interpreting my proclivity in the light of scripture?”
We are created for relationship with God, others, ourselves and the world around us. It’s within this context of relationships that our “identities”, including our “false identities,” are formed; our perceptions of God, ourselves and others develop; and our behavioral and relational patterns are established. Unfortunately, most of the time these “identities” are not fully who we really are, our perceptions are misperceptions and our patterns of relating include some form of manipulation in order to get our own needs met.
Our own hearts, these misperceptions (false beliefs) and our dysfunctional ways of relating are at the core of same sex attraction (SSA). Our journey toward gender and sexual wholeness requires the development of healthy, non-sexual same sex relationships. While this can be intimidating at first it offers the potential of significant healing and wholeness.
Be sure to remember these key principals when developing these relationships:
- Healthy emotional and appropriately affectionate friendships are not dependent or erotic and they don’t include manipulation and neediness.
- We must be sufficiently secure in our own gender identity before we can join with and be a compliment to the opposite sex and not just in sexual relationships.
- Christ-centered, healthy same-sex friendships can provide non-sexual intimacy, love, affirmation, validation and the sense of security we need to become more confident in our biological gender.
- Gender insecurityis an emotional need that becomes eroticized in SSA.
- Healthy friendships and relationships in general are not SELF focused.
Here are some examples of things we might say if our relationships are too self-focused:
- You aren’t giving me enough attention.
- You aren’t calling me often enough.
- Why aren’t you including me?
- You rejected me.
- Why weren’t you there for me?
These statements exhibit a neediness that we’re hoping to get satisfied by another person. In order to experience God’s healing and find His purpose for our lives our approach with friends and others should be “How can I help that person grow in the Lord?”
To do so, we must communicate forthrightly, respectfully and lovingly instead of utilizing manipulation tactics such as the silent treatment, passive aggressive behaviors, detachment or withdrawal. If you need to separate from or end abusive or unhealthy relationships you should speak with a counselor or your pastor about how best to accomplish that.
For individuals with SSA, accountability is critical to maintaining healthy same sex friendships. Seek out a godly counselor, your pastor, or mature believers to help you with this and preferably someone without a history of SSA. We need relationships with solid believers, who will also have struggles but in other areas, throughout this process.
Here are some spiritual disciplines that you may find helpful as you walk this out:
- Fasting from your friend – if you become emotionally enmeshed with a friend, yield your friend up to the Lord and agree on a designated amount of time for the break.
- Journaling with Jesus – pour out your heart to the Lord; ask Him “What is it in this person that I am attracted to, what unmet need does that represent in my life and what do I want from him or her?”
- Confession – get it out in the light by confessing it to a brother or sister in Christ and ask them to pray for you about it (James 5:16, 1 John 1:7)
- Feelings – don’t suppress them, but deal with them with God through journaling or seek a counselor if needed.
Here are some helpful resources you may want to read:
- “Friendships of Women” by Dee Brestin
- “Emotional Dependency” by Lori Rentzel
Do you struggle with same-sex attraction and are you afraid to reach out and tell someone? You are Not ALONE. There are many dealing with this struggle who are not sure where to turn.
This is the story of one man’s pain of hiding in the shadows with his struggle and confusion about his sexuality. He is pleading for an open and honest conversation especially in the church where many are silent.
He reveals his fear, confusion and depression over the anticipated responses from the church, his friends and family. As some in the church are completely silent while others condemn him to hell but don’t offer any help to overcome the struggle. He mentions his insecurity when among family and friends afraid they will ridicule him. The LGBTQ community will embrace him but he knows that isn’t right either so where is he to turn? Is there HOPE for someone like him? This video reveals an Amazing journey of courage to find truth, love and acceptance.
YES, there is HOPE for you and that is why we are here. Reach out to us and we will pray with you and connect you to someone who cares. Someone who has already been through the journey and will help each step of the way. It is a challenging journey but so worth it as you will find your purpose and the true love from the one who created you as He Loves you Very Much!
I believe this is a wake up call to the church. This subject needs to be talked about and discussed. We are also here to equip the church to deal with this subject and provide the resources needed to help those hiding in the Church Closet.