Where is God When the News Comes?

Where is God When the News Comes?

Noisy chatter and laughter of people all around us were another painful reminder everything was not all right.  Tears pooled in my lap.  I was unable to hold them back any longer.  The once simple process of ordering felt overwhelming.  I was at a loss for words.  Why did I agree to meet her?  Inside I longed to run back to the security I felt by hiding in my home, distancing myself from family and friends.

Weeks earlier this extroverted, confident woman received news leaving me hiding in my own closet.  My daughter sent a text stating she was in a relationship with a girl.  A vice gripped this Christian mama’s heart refusing to let go.  The crushing news brought with it a heavy garment of despair and hopelessness.  Wrapping itself around me like a cloak it sought to take my very breath.  Then, unannounced, a tidal wave of grief crashed over me.  I was taken under.  With a mouth full of sand and the sting of salt water in my eyes, I found myself struggling to lift my head above water.  I was left fighting against the current to stand.

Grief.  It rudely interrupts our lives changing us forever.  As the waves roll in so do our questions and thoughts.

Where is God in all of this?  Why didn’t He stop this from happening to my child? What did I do wrong?

Does grieving mean I don’t trust in my Heavenly Father?

What will others now say?   Is there hope? Will I ever feel joy again?

Is it possible to still maintain a loving relationship with my child and stand on my convictions and beliefs as a follower of Christ?

Comfort is found in knowing I’m not the only one who questioned God in a season of deep grief.  Mary and Martha knew Jesus and walked with Him.  Yet, they still questioned His whereabouts when they lost their brother.  (See John 11:1-37) Jesus did not respond with condemnation or judgmental thoughts.  Their loss of hope, diminished faith, and crushing grief was not reprimanded.  Instead, He met them in their great sorrow and wept with them.

‘When Jesus saw her weeping, …he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.  “Where have you laid him?” he asked.  “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.  Jesus wept. (John 11:37)

John 11:37 is the shortest verse in the whole Bible but offers us grace to be human, permission to grieve, and a greater appreciation for our Lord and Savior becoming like us in human form.  Where is Jesus?  He is right beside us weeping over our children with us.  We are not alone.

His Wonderful Works is here as well.  We desire to meet you where you are and walk this journey together.  We may not have the answers to all the questions but we know the One who does.  Through my story I will attempt to share my journey and lessons that I have learned with you.  I hope you will join me!

Posted on October 10, 2017 | Author: Melinda Patrick | Director of Prayer and Parents Support

Please give financially and help us share the good news that there’s hope, healing and freedom in Christ for the sexually and relationally hurting.

© Copyright 2012 - 2023 His Wonderful Works Inc.

Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions

Gay Christian Identity – Joe Dallas

Gay Christian Identity – Joe Dallas

Joe Dallas equips listeners with the basic tools and concepts necessary for a Christ-like response to the Gay Christian identity.  Joe brings us in for a transparent look at his journey from the downward spiral into sexual promiscuity to promoting the Gay Christian identity and finally to landing on the solid ground of his identity in Christ.

During Joe’s journey, The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches was one of the first organizations that claimed both a Christian base and a pro-gay base and where he heard the pro-gay interpretation of scripture for the first time.  He was confronted with men and women of all ages and all types who identified as Gay Christians.  If you haven’t already, you will meet someone who says “I love Jesus, I have been born again, I believe the Bible is the word of God and I’m openly gay or I’m openly lesbian and God is fine with my lifestyle”.  Joe’s in-depth teaching will better equip you to dialogue with people holding this position.

Joe begins with these terms and concepts to help us better understand and follow along with his discussion:

Gay Christian Identify – Terms and Concepts

  • Saved – born again and positioned in Christ
  • Gay – orientation, identity or behavior
    • “Gay is not as simplistic as a term as we might think it to be because it can refer either to an orientation or an identity or a behavior or a combination of all 3.”
  • Orientation – result of the sin nature – not a choice
  • Identity – alignment with a sinful tendency – is a choice
  • Behavior – erotic connection with same sex – is a choice

Five Point Progression

  1. Discovery – deep feelings others don’t have
  2. Conflict – lasts for a season “I didn’t ask to be gay”
  3. Resolution Attempt – tried everything, “it” doesn’t work
  4. Revision – to accommodate the temptation
  5. Gay Christian Identity – adoption / embracing

Many people believe that if you are born again you will no longer have same sex attractions and desires.  They often refer to the apostle Paul stating that “if any man is in Christ he is a new creation old things are passed away and all things become new” (2 Cor 5:17).  While we do become new creations, the Bible also states that we will experience a struggle between the flesh and the spirit.

Joe puts it this way, “When someone tells me well I tried to pray the gay away and it didn’t happen. I would say who on Earth told you that was going to happen?  All of us have sinful desires of the flesh sometimes we are completely relieved of those desires at other times we are allowed to still wrestle those desires. As time goes on they may diminish and other times they stay and at all times we are still told to crucify the flesh walk in the spirit and not live under the power of any particular sin.”

Joe’s teaching ends on a powerful note from Dr. Paul Morris who says, “but if I were a homosexual Christian this one question would bother me, am I interpreting scripture in the light of my proclivity or should I be interpreting my proclivity in the light of scripture?”

Please give financially and help us share the good news that there’s hope, healing and freedom in Christ for the sexually and relationally hurting.

© Copyright 2012 - 2023 His Wonderful Works Inc.

Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions

Sexual Sanity In A Morally Insane World

Sexual Sanity In A Morally Insane World

Nebuchadnezzar said, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and delivered his servants who trusted in him. They disobeyed the king’s command and yielded up their bodies rather than serve and worship any god except their own God. Therefore, I make a decree: Any people, nation, or language that utters blasphemy against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego shall be torn limb from limb, and their houses laid in ruins; for there is no other god who is able to deliver in this way.” Daniel 3:28-29 NRSV

Conflicting Worldviews

The world and God see sex in completely different ways. The way we view and interpret life and pretty much everything in it, including relationships, morality, and God, is called a worldview. At the core of a biblical worldview is the understanding that God is real and not only that He’s real, but that He’s good and morally perfect. In the story above, King Nebuchadnezzar’s worldview was shaken up when he witnessed the miraculous deliverance of three devout Jewish young men who many believe were in their late teens when they were taken into captivity.  They would have rather died than follow the crowd.  These three young men were commanded to bow down to a statue, otherwise known as an idol, and they refused. Their civil disobedience landed them in a fiery furnace. If you’re not familiar with the story, be sure to read Daniel, Chapter 3 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+3&version=NRSV). But what about the other Jewish people who were captured and brought to Babylon? Why weren’t they standing in line with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego waiting to be thrown into the furnace? Just as in our day, they were already adopting the beliefs and behaviors of their neighbors or they obeyed for fear of losing their lives if they took a stand.  Sound familiar?

It’s just a statue. What’s the big deal?

Now, replace “a statue” with “sex”.  The enemy has been spreading the lie that, “Sex is no big deal,” for thousands of years. Maybe you’ve heard it. Maybe you’ve thought it. Maybe you’ve even believed it. Let’s be honest. Sex is a big deal. People are married and divorced because of it. People (male and female) are kidnapped, tortured, and abused because of it. Babies are born and babies are aborted because of it. You can be blessed by it or traumatized by it. If you have a relationship with God, then you probably have some sense of a right and a wrong when it comes to sex. Children innately know that it’s wrong for Mommy or Daddy to have an affair. “And [Jesus] said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 NIV The world’s attitude toward sex has become cold and hard-hearted. Maybe yours too.  To understand God’s purpose for sex, we must soften our hearts and become like little children.

But, what if it’s consensual and there’s no chance of pregnancy, what’s the harm?  The truth is the harm is great.  Having sex outside of a covenant marriage between a man and woman who love and trust each other opens us up to illness and death, and not just STD’s!!  It may feel good to begin with and we say to ourselves “see, I didn’t get hurt”, but what the enemy knows is that, when you take the first bite of the forbidden fruit, you will want more and more and more.  Eventually, he will use sexual temptation to draw you further and further away from God, yourself and the purpose God has for your life.  And, he will use it to destroy you psychologically, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  What’s more, like being pulled out to sea by the undertow, the further out you get the harder it is to get back to shore.  When Satan told Eve “surely you won’t die” Genesis 3:4 after tempting her with the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, he questioned what God had said and used it to bring doubt into Eve’s mind about God’s goodness and love for her.  Eventually she and Adam took the bait and, well you know the rest of the story.

The truth is God does LOVE us and wants the absolute best for us! The problem is we don’t always believe that. When we come to the realization that He loves us, we begin to trust Him. When we trust Him and follow His leading, our faith grows. As our faith grows, our worldview changes and we begin to see things differently. We begin to understand the reasons behind God’s rules and the spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical consequences of not following them. All sin is rooted in a lack of faith. We don’t trust God to take care of us or others, so we take matters into our own hands. We turn our backs on God and find ways to justify our wrong choices. “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and delivered his servants who trusted in him.” The story from Daniel applies to sex because it is a story about integrity. The three young men knew that God was real; they trusted Him; and they made a very difficult choice to not follow what the world around them was doing. Apparently, the rest of the Jewish people in captivity bowed down to the statue.  We are living in a morally insane world and we must choose who we will bow down to and serve, either the Creator or the created.

No matter where you are in your sexual life, from those trying to save themselves for marriage and feel like they’re navigating a minefield to those who have been “hooking up” for years and feel something is not quite right to those who are looking to escape a life of abuse and even prostitution, God is ready to meet you where you are. He LOVES you!  No matter what path you’ve taken or what mistakes you’ve made, know that God can redeem any situation. You can trust Him, because He is real, and we’ll say it again, He really does LOVE you!

Please give financially and help us share the good news that there’s hope, healing and freedom in Christ for the sexually and relationally hurting.

© Copyright 2012 - 2023 His Wonderful Works Inc.

Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions

Ex-Lesbian’s Heartfelt Plea to Pastors Across the Country

Ex-Lesbian’s Heartfelt Plea to Pastors Across the Country

Dear Pastors,

There are things I urgently need for you to know. And there are things I desperately need you to tell me. I shudder to think where I’d be today if my pastor had not been bold enough to tell me the truth regarding homosexuality, a lifestyle in which I lived for more than 30 years. Pastors, please take time out of your busy schedule to read my humble plea.

First, I need you to tell me in no uncertain terms that homosexuality is a sin. Show me what the Bible says and tell me that the Word of God is eternal and does not change with the times. Please don’t tell me that you won’t address it or that you don’t have an opinion. Because if you don’t speak up, I am going to think that it’s all right and will be headed for an eternity in hell. Pastors, when I come to you seeking answers, I need you to boldly speak the truth in love. My very salvation depends upon it.

Next, please let me know that Jesus’ death on the cross was enough to cover any sin I have committed, including that of homosexuality. Please tell me that every sin, no matter how minor or major it seems, is an affront to God. If you don’t, I will feel like my sin, because it feels more embarrassing or shocking, is harder for God to forgive than the others and I will be left with the wrong impression that homosexuality is the unpardonable sin. It’s not.

And last, I need you to tell me to repent. Please tell me that true Christianity calls for genuine repentance of all sin, including homosexuality. And pastors, if I try to make excuses to live in my sin, stand firm because my eternal destiny hinges on it. And then, and this is so very important, tell me that God’s power, mercy and grace are more than enough for me to live in absolute freedom. If you don’t, I will think that homosexuality is the only sin for which God’s power isn’t enough. It is.

When I was looking for truth and answers, I walked into a church, just like yours, for the first time in years. I started attending regularly and started feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit in my heart as I learned what it meant to be a follower of Christ.

I mustered up the courage to speak with my pastor and share that I was homosexual, thinking it was an unchangeable fact. When I walked out of my pastor’s office, I had received the unchangeable truth: Homosexuality is a sin. God hates all sin. God loves me. Jesus died for me. I needed to repent from all sin. The cross was enough to forgive me of all sin. God’s power delivers me from all sin. Jesus is enough, even for those who struggle with homosexuality.

Pastors, speaking truth no matter how difficult, does not have to end with people running for the exits. I am living proof! I have completely renounced the homosexual lifestyle, am a devoted follower of Christ and live in truth, victory and freedom every day of my life!

I will forever be grateful to my pastor for holding to the truth of God’s Word, and pastors, I pray that your congregants will be the same.

With all gratefulness, humility and sincerity,

Linda Italiano, ex-lesbian and born-again Christian | https://lindaitaliano.wordpress.com/

Please give financially and help us share the good news that there’s hope, healing and freedom in Christ for the sexually and relationally hurting.

© Copyright 2012 - 2023 His Wonderful Works Inc.

Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions

Healthy Same-Sex Friendships Teaching By Dee Barnes

Healthy Same-Sex Friendships Teaching By Dee Barnes

We are created for relationship with God, others, ourselves and the world around us. It’s within this context of relationships that our “identities”, including our “false identities,” are formed; our perceptions of God, ourselves and others develop; and our behavioral and relational patterns are established.  Unfortunately, most of the time these “identities” are not fully who we really are, our perceptions are misperceptions and our patterns of relating include some form of manipulation in order to get our own needs met.

Our own hearts, these misperceptions (false beliefs) and our dysfunctional ways of relating are at the core of same sex attraction (SSA).  Our journey toward gender and sexual wholeness requires the development of healthy, non-sexual same sex relationships.  While this can be intimidating at first it offers the potential of significant healing and wholeness.

Be sure to remember these key principals when developing these relationships:

  • Healthy emotional and appropriately affectionate friendships are not dependent or erotic and they don’t include manipulation and neediness.
  • We must be sufficiently secure in our own gender identity before we can join with and be a compliment to the opposite sex and not just in sexual relationships.
  • Christ-centered, healthy same-sex friendships can provide non-sexual intimacy, love, affirmation, validation and the sense of security we need to become more confident in our biological gender.
  • Gender insecurityis an emotional need that becomes eroticized in SSA.
  • Healthy friendships and relationships in general are not SELF focused.

Here are some examples of things we might say if our relationships are too self-focused:

  • You aren’t giving me enough attention.
  • You aren’t calling me often enough.
  • Why aren’t you including me?
  • You rejected me.
  • Why weren’t you there for me?

These statements exhibit a neediness that we’re hoping to get satisfied by another person.  In order to experience God’s healing and find His purpose for our lives our approach with friends and others should be “How can I help that person grow in the Lord?”

To do so, we must communicate forthrightly, respectfully and lovingly instead of utilizing manipulation tactics such as the silent treatment, passive aggressive behaviors, detachment or withdrawal.  If you need to separate from or end abusive or unhealthy relationships you should speak with a counselor or your pastor about how best to accomplish that.

For individuals with SSA, accountability is critical to maintaining healthy same sex friendships.  Seek out a godly counselor, your pastor, or mature believers to help you with this and preferably someone without a history of SSA.  We need relationships with solid believers, who will also have struggles but in other areas, throughout this process.

Here are some spiritual disciplines that you may find helpful as you walk this out:

  • Fasting from your friend – if you become emotionally enmeshed with a friend, yield your friend up to the Lord and agree on a designated amount of time for the break.
  • Journaling with Jesus – pour out your heart to the Lord; ask Him “What is it in this person that I am attracted to, what unmet need does that represent in my life and what do I want from him or her?”
  • Confession – get it out in the light by confessing it to a brother or sister in Christ and ask them to pray for  you about it (James 5:16, 1 John 1:7)
  • Feelings – don’t suppress them, but deal with them with God through journaling or seek a counselor if needed.

Here are some helpful resources you may want to read:

  • “Friendships of Women” by Dee Brestin
  • “Emotional Dependency” by Lori Rentzel

Please give financially and help us share the good news that there’s hope, healing and freedom in Christ for the sexually and relationally hurting.

© Copyright 2012 - 2023 His Wonderful Works Inc.

Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions