Noisy chatter and laughter of people all around us were another painful reminder everything was not all right. Tears pooled in my lap. I was unable to hold them back any longer. The once simple process of ordering felt overwhelming. I was at a loss for words. Why did I agree to meet her? Inside I longed to run back to the security I felt by hiding in my home, distancing myself from family and friends.
Weeks earlier this extroverted, confident woman received news leaving me hiding in my own closet. My daughter sent a text stating she was in a relationship with a girl. A vice gripped this Christian mama’s heart refusing to let go. The crushing news brought with it a heavy garment of despair and hopelessness. Wrapping itself around me like a cloak it sought to take my very breath. Then, unannounced, a tidal wave of grief crashed over me. I was taken under. With a mouth full of sand and the sting of salt water in my eyes, I found myself struggling to lift my head above water. I was left fighting against the current to stand.
Grief. It rudely interrupts our lives changing us forever. As the waves roll in so do our questions and thoughts.
Where is God in all of this? Why didn’t He stop this from happening to my child? What did I do wrong?
Does grieving mean I don’t trust in my Heavenly Father?
What will others now say? Is there hope? Will I ever feel joy again?
Is it possible to still maintain a loving relationship with my child and stand on my convictions and beliefs as a follower of Christ?
Comfort is found in knowing I’m not the only one who questioned God in a season of deep grief. Mary and Martha knew Jesus and walked with Him. Yet, they still questioned His whereabouts when they lost their brother. (See John 11:1-37) Jesus did not respond with condemnation or judgmental thoughts. Their loss of hope, diminished faith, and crushing grief was not reprimanded. Instead, He met them in their great sorrow and wept with them.
‘When Jesus saw her weeping, …he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. (John 11:37)
John 11:37 is the shortest verse in the whole Bible but offers us grace to be human, permission to grieve, and a greater appreciation for our Lord and Savior becoming like us in human form. Where is Jesus? He is right beside us weeping over our children with us. We are not alone.
His Wonderful Works is here as well. We desire to meet you where you are and walk this journey together. We may not have the answers to all the questions but we know the One who does. Through my story I will attempt to share my journey and lessons that I have learned with you. I hope you will join me!
Posted on October 10, 2017 | Author: Melinda Patrick | Director of Prayer and Parents Support